Tag Archives: limo

Limos are Outlawed…AKA How We Got Engaged…

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So obviously, I said yes.  But the story is ever so much fun to tell, and I am really tempted to tell this story as a toast to my new husband on our wedding day, but not sure if that would be crossing the line.  I mean really, he’s got it coming, but do I want to spend the first moments of our marriage torturing him? 

Rewind to three weeks before the YES.  My guy tells me that he’s going to a batchelor party on the upcoming weekend and that strippers have been completely outlawed by the future bride to be of our friend.  I’m on the fence about the whole stripper/batchelor party thing.  It doesn’t really bother me when it’s a man who wouldn’t go to titty bars otherwise.  I always try to work in a “titty” into my posts.  Anyhoo, my guy tells me that the party will be a bbq at his friend’s house with all the guys.  Great, I say, go forth and party. 

On the evening of the party, I invite some friends over for some drinks.  I get a phone call from my guy around 10:30 who is obviously drunk as a skunk asking me if we want to go for a ride in the limo with him and the guys.  I pass because we are having a good time on our own.  I ask who has paid for the limo, and he tells me that the father of the groom paid for it.  How.  Nice.  I go to bed around 1am, and apparently the limo drops off my guy at 5:30 in the morning.  He sleeps alllllll day.  I mean all day.  He wakes up around dinner time. 

The next weekend is the wedding.  As my guy is an usher, we go to the rehearsal dinner.  While I am standing in a circle of strangers talking to the bride, I mention that it was so nice of her FFIL to pay for the limo at the party.  The bride and all of her friends uncomfortably stare at me as if I just said the stooopidest thing ever.  Well it turns out later that it was stupid because the bride-to be-pulls me aside and says, “I was under the impression that Aaron paid for the limo.  I thought you knew.”  There goes my jaw.  And my bladder.  And my humility…out there on display.  Suddenly I realize that everyone has been REALLY nice to me tonight.  They probably think that I’m either a really cool girl for not putting up a fuss over the limo or a really stupid girl for not knowing what her fiance does.  Turns out, I’m the later. 

Out in the parking lot on the way home, I point blank ask my FI who paid for the limo.  He confesses.  I ask him why he lied, and he doesn’t really have a good reason.  I point out that he just made me feel stupid in public in front of strangers.  He feels bad, yadda yadda yadda.  Whatev.  We go to bed.

Next morning:  I start to wonder how much this limo cost.  At this point of our relationship, I should point out, we are living together, we need a new roof, and I want to be engaged.  He refuses to tell me.  OH NOW I NEED TO KNOW, BUDDY.  Thinking that it was around $300, I overshoot it and say, “$500?”  Him, “Higher.”   Me, “$700?  $1000?  $1500?”  Eventually, him, “It was $1700.”  Bomb.  Explosion.  Silence.  I don’t know what to say.  I went in the house and sat in the shower for an hour because I knew I could be alone there.  He left.  And I decided to go for a run to clear out my head before I call the movers to help me pack my things. 

Okay I’m gonna go ahead and leave this as a cliffhanger.  Aren’t I clever to trick you into coming back tomorrow to get the rest of the story?  Really it’s because I need to get in the shower now and go to work.  I hate work.  Come back tomorrow for the dramatic conclusion!

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More Traditions, Less Pounds

marie-antoinette-3Last night I started a post on weddingbee.com entitled, “Regional Differences in Weddings” and man, did it take off!  I started it because being that I’ve grown up in the Midwest but spent considerable time in New Jersey and done some other traveling here and there, I couldn’t help but notice all the cultural nuances that go unmentioned that really are wonderful traditions.  Some traditions I would like to steal and incorporate in to our wedding, and some traditions I will never touch with a ten foot pole. 

One lovely tradition that recently came to light is the bridesmaids’ luncheon.  From what I understand from the discussion board, this is when the someone close to the bride hosts a little get together right before the wedding so that the bride can thank all the women in her life.  We are doing something similar but with a twist.  My mother and I will be hosting the luncheon, and it’s actually a bridesmaid’s excursion to Chicago for a day of good shopping and good food.  We are doing this in September this year which is still a year away from the wedding.  Everyone has asked me what we will be doing in Chicago (gotta love the task-minded women with whom I’ve surrounded myself), but really, I just want us to have a relaxing day…maybe get a mani/pedi and then walk around Michigan Avenue and Navy Pier. 

The other tradition that sounded charming (and closely related to the bridesmaids’ luncheon) was the bridal tea.  Someone on the discussion board described this as a drop-in occasion where the bride has displayed the gifts that she has received so far in a pleasing way around her house.  Tea, little sandwiches, and what not are served, and the ladies lunch.  What I like about this is the nostaligic feeling that I get when I think about a relaxing tea party with ladies that I love before my wedding.  What I don’t like is the whole parading of the gifts.  I don’t intend on doing this.  We will have delicious food for sure. 

Then there are some local traditions that I’d rather forget.  The following, in no particular order, are traditions that I am going to try to not have at our wedding: 

The Receiving Line:  150 guests times 30 seconds of chitty-chat = We’ve missed out on our cocktail hour to which we are really looking forward.

The Bouquet Toss:  I always hated being singled out and usually tried to blend in with the crowd until someone would shout, “THERE!  THERE’S A SINGLE GIRL!  GET HER!  TIE HER TO THE STAKE!  BUT LET HER CATCH THE BOUQUET FIRST!”  I will not be doing this to the few single women left in my life.  Period. 

The Dollar Dance: CRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGEEEEEEE  It’s so awful.  How tacky (THIS IS MY BLOG, AND I CAN SAY TACKY IF I WANT TO) for a bride and groom to blatantly beg for money from their guests who have already purchased them a present.  Gross, gross, gross.  NEXT!

The Stretch Limo:  I will not be forking out $600 for a limo so that I can get that shot of me in the limo looking out the window.  Not worth it, folks.  No one cares.  I’ll be driving myself that day unless I can con my cousin David to shuttle me around. 

The Unity Candle:  Our ceremony is going to be outside, and even if we had a candle, it would be a bitch to keep lighted.  Why do people have a unity candle anyway?  Those who love unity candles will say it’s because it symbolizes the joining of the man and the wife in holy matrimony.  The cynics such as myself will say no one knows and people have only had unity candles because they have been brainwashed into thinking it’s a necessary piece of their wedding day. 

The Favor:  We will not be giving out little notepads, key chains, candles, elephants, candy bars, bubbles, bells, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.  That list gets 5 “etc”s because litterally the list of useless crap that is available to purchase for favors is the longest second only to Santa’s naught/nice list.  Why do people give out favors?  Same reason why people have a unity candle.  Because.  We will be totally forgoing the favor in lieu of a photobooth.  I like the idea of a photobooth because if people WANT the photo, they will GET the photo.  There is no waste.  Plus it’s fun.  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. 

Here are some traditions that I am considering for the abandonment pile:

The Garter Toss:  If we aren’t doing a bouquet toss, then it seems kind of silly to do a garter toss.  I am keeping this one on hold though, because how else am I going to show of my died crinoline!  I know…I’m strange.

The Wedding Cake:  We aren’t really cake people, and even if we were, we’d have a hard time swallowing the $500 it can take to get a cake (pun intended).  Instead we may do cheese cake.  Now we ARE cheese cake people.  Or maybe something else…but cake is definitely not a priority for us.

The Chicken Dance:  I really don’t have a feeling about this one way or the other…I will just tell whomever is running the music that IF a guest requests the GD chicken dance then play the GD chicken dance.  Same with the macarena, electric slide, cha-cha slide, hokey pokey, and any and all Shania Twain music.  (shudder)

The Disc Jockey:  We are considering nixing the dj for a band instead.  We like this idea a lot and have found a band that we want.  It’s a matter of budget at this point…

So that was the “more traditions” part of this post.  The “less pounds” part is that I’m down to 195lbs.  27lbs to go to “normal”.

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